


Twittercaked

by Rensong



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-06
Updated: 2010-10-28
Packaged: 2017-10-10 23:27:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/105597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rensong/pseuds/Rensong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SGA and Twitter. Nuff said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> _I originally wrote the first part of this in a Live Journal comment to a friend of mine (thread is at <http://rensong.livejournal.com/1237784.html> if you're curious). Now it's kind of turned into a run-away drabble, but I hope you all enjoy it none the less. :)_
> 
> _Also, sorry for the re-post. There was some sort of formatting error when I tried up upload SpaceBunnies that I couldn't figure out, so I thought it would just be easier to post the whole thing over again._

**1 -Twittercaked**

 

WaySmarterThanU  
17:42 Saved galaxy AGAIN! I better get cake this time.

FlyBoy  
17:48 @WaySmarterThanU WE saved galxy, thankUvrymuch.

CanKillUWithSpoon  
17:51 Not enough explosions. :( But I have cake. :)

WaySmarterThanU  
17:52 @CanKillUWithSpoon How come you get cake?! SHARE!

FlyBoy  
17:55 @WaySmarterThanU Lemon cake. W/ chocolate frost. Mmmmm... :evil:

WaySmarterThanU  
17:55 OMG, I HATE YOU ALL

~*~*~*~

 

**2 - SpaceBunnies**

 

WaySmarterThanU  
16:11 Spent the day being chased by ferocious aliens

FlyBoy  
16:13 @WaySmarterThanU ... or bunnies

WaySmarterThanU  
16:14 @FlyBoy Bunnies do not have fangs!

FlyBoy  
16:15 @WaySmarterThanU Bunnies

WaySmarterThanU  
16:18 @FlyBoy They had claws and were the size of a small calf!

FlyBoy  
16:20 @WaySmarterThanU Wrascally Wrabits

WaySmarterThanU  
16:20 THEY ATE JOHNSON'S BOOT!

FlyBoy  
16:21 They. Were. BUNNIES.

WaySmarterThanU  
16:22 @FlyBoy One of them got away with your extra bottle of hair gel.

FlyBoy  
16:33 Spent the day being chased by ferocious aliens!

~*~*~*~

_Authors Note – I have every belief that John is childish and/or lazy enough to use txt spk on Twitter. However, I *cannot stand* writing it myself, and I'm not all that thrilled when I have to read it, either - the little bit you see in the first 'chapter' is there only because my original plan was to write that one short back-and-forth and leave it be. Thanks to all the encouragement I've received, though (and thanks so much reviewers!), and my own gleefully sadistic muses, that plan has obviously failed._

_So, from now on Sheppard's Twitters are going to be (mostly) grammatically correct and properly spelled. Use your own imaginations to add whatever txt spk you deem reasonable for his updates. ;)_

\----

**3 - GirlInEveryPort**

 

FlyBoy  
17:45 Is good at turning things on. Is that an Ancient device in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

WaySmarterThanU  
17:49 @Flyboy Oh my god, are you really that shallow?

FlyBoy  
17:50 @WaySmarterThanU I wouldn't call myself *shallow*, per se

WaySmarterThanU  
17:50 @FlyBoy Though, wait, I suppose there was Chaya.

NaughtyScot  
17:52 @WaySmarterThanU And the chieftain's daughter on Dla'an

WaySmarterThanU  
17:53 @NaughtyScot The planet with the purple trees?

NaughtyScot  
17:55 @WaySmarterThanU That's the one.

WaySmarterThanU  
17:57 @NaughtyScot Teer

NaughtyScot  
18:01 @WaySmarterThanU Mara, the Lord Protector's daughter

WaySmarterThanU  
18:03 @NaughtyScot Who lived on a BURIED ANCIENT CITY that went and COLLAPSED before we could get anything USEFUL from it!

NaughtyScot  
18:05 @WaySmarterThanU Impudent that Nature would dare keep you from scientific discovery, Rodney :sarcasm:

FlyBoy  
18:05 @WaySmarterThanU That one wasn't my fault! She forced herself on me!

WaySmarterThanU  
18:07 @NaughtyScot Bite me, you sheep shagging bastard!  
18:08 @FlyBoy Still counts. Then you and Weir we all over each other not long after that.

FlyBoy  
18:10 @WaySmarterThanU WE WERE POSSESSED BY ALIENS!

WaySmarterThanU  
18:11 @FlyBoy Excuses, excuses

NaughtyScot  
18:12 @WaySmarterThanU Don't forget that bar lass on M33-189

WaySmarterThanU  
18:15 @NaughtyScot Oh, right! I knew I was forgetting someone. Larrin was next

NaughtyScot  
18:16 @WaySmarterThanU ? Must've missed that one

WaySmarterThanU  
18:10 @NaughtyScot You were dead at the time. Or being held hostage by the Replicators, whatever. Nice girl, had her own ship, just wanted John for his ATA gene

NaughtyScot  
18:11 (AT)WaySmarterThanU Weren't there a few more bar wenches as well?

WaySmarterThanU  
18:15 @NaughtyScot Way more than just a few. Pretty sure there have been at least three sisters in there somewhere, too.

FlyBoy  
18:17 @WaySmarterThanU ENOUGH! I GET IT ALREADY!

FlyBoy  
18:20 Survey suggest that yes, I really am that shallow

\----

_One more brief A.N. - Carson's Twitter name is inspired by Naughty Scot Scotch Ale from the Rock Bottom Brewery in Milwaukee, WI - the one and only beer I have ever liked. It also seems to me like the kind of brew he would appreciate - traditionally made, dark, and full-bodied (am I allowed to use 'full-bodied' for beer, or is that a wine thing?)_


	2. SuperGenius

4 - SuperGenius

WaySmarterThanU  
13:15 I, let it be said, am a genius. This we already knew, obviously, but it bears repeating as much as humanly possible, because I have discovered an Anci

WaySmarterThanU  
13:16 MY GENIUS SHOULD NOT BE CONTAINED BY 150 CHARACTERS!

\----

FlyBoy  
18:42 It's Introduce the Aliens to Earth night! Indiana Jones marathon in the rec room on the south peer, t-minus 18 minutes!

GR8nPowerfulOz  
18:45 @FlyBoy Oh, please, you do realize that actual archaeology is nothing like that

FlyBoy  
18:47 @GR8nPowerfulOz Guests don't get a vote. And 'GR8nPowerfulOz'? Seriously?

GR8nPowerfulOz  
18:50 @Flyboy Yeah... Long story. Also, Jack set up all our accounts. Teal'c was not at all amused to get 'Dorothy'

WaySmarterThanU  
18:51 @Flyboy Oh, god, those are so unrealistic! Surviving by closing your eyes – as if the kind of radiation that melts your skin of could be blocked by your

WaySmarterThanU  
18:51 ARRGH!

FlyBoy  
18:53 @WaySmarterThanU Apparently your genius can be restrained by the 150 word count, Rodney

WaySmarterThanU  
18:55 @FlyBoy I know how to access the temperature settings on your shower, Sheppard, and I know how to use them

FlyBoy  
18:57 Right then… Let's get the movie set up!

CanKillUWithSpoon  
18:59 @ FlyBoy Are there explosions?

FlyBoy  
19:00 @CanKillUWithSpoon Yes

GR8nPowerfulOz  
19:00 @CanKillUWithSpoon Yes

WaySmarterThanU  
19:00 @CanKillUWithSpoon And gun fights and bar brawls and an excess of drinking. I'm sure you'll love it

\-------

_A/N - this is the last of the ideas I already had for this particular 'series'. I'm hoping the muses will cooperate and this won't be the end, but for now this is all I got. However, if anyone else has suggestions on what the SGA team Twitters about, I'd be happy to try and get them into writing. ;)_


	3. SignalInterrupted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is utterly ridiculous and would never happen, and I used authors prerogative to take some huge liberties with Todd. I don't care, because it was way fun to write even if I'm not 100% pleased with the final result. I'm sharing it anyway.

**SignalInterrupted**

Meanwhile, as soon as Todd and his merry band of Wraith Rebels get within range…

::communicator beeps::  
You have 8456 new messages

***

PrettyInPaint  
11:46 WTF is Twitter and why do I have 8500 messages from it?!

WaySmarterThanU  
11:48 @ FlyBoy You were supposed to reprogram Lorne’s old phone and disconnect it from our network *before* you handed it over to our enemies, moron!

FlyBoy  
11:51 @WaySmarterThanU How was I supposed to know he’d pick up texting so fast!

WaySmarterThanU  
11:54 @FlyBoy YOU JUST HANDED THE KEY TO OUR COMMUNICATION NETWORK OVER TO THE WRAITH

FlyBoy  
11:55 @WaySmarterThanU Only the ones on our side

WaySmarterThanU  
11:58@ FlyBoy SUPPOSEDLY on our side; as in, PROBABLY STILL WORKING FOR THE WRAITH. It’s like you WANT him to hack into our system

FlyBoy  
12:00 @WaySmarterThanU Way to give him ideas, McKay. Besides, none of us are stupid enough to leave important files lying around on a public network

WaySmarterThanU  
12:01 @FlyBoy Apparently you ARE stupid enough because you just HANDED THE KEY TO OUR COMMUNICATION NETWORK OVER TO THE WRAITH

FlyBoy  
12:04@WaySmarterThanU Oh, please. The most damning evidence he’ll see is Miko’s fan fiction, Zelenka’s pigeon porn, and the Marine’s D&amp;D log.

CzechLaVie  
12:04 @ FlyBoy It is research!

WaySmarterThanU  
12:05 @ FlyBoy IT’S THE CONCEPT OF THINGS  
12:06 @CzechLaVie Yeah, right, you pervy pigeon fancier. Just like you own all of the Bring It On movies so you can research the dance moves

FlyBoy  
12:08 @CzechLaVie Psst…you, me, movie marathon next weekend!

PrettyInPaint  
12:12 You are a very strange species

*

PrettyInPaint  
12:31 @PrettyInPant Hey, bug brains! Get your own Twitter name!

NaughtyScot  
12:32 @PrettyInPaint We all must learn to share, children

PrettyInPaint  
12:33 @NaughtyScot But I had it first!

WaySmarterThanU  
12:34 OH MY GOD, I AM SURROUNDED BY MORONS!

*

HotToddy  
13:13 This method if communication and file sharing on this “internet” is incredible. How can we get our net to work like this?

WaySmarterThanU  
13:15 Oh, god, he’s been exposed to Earth pop culture for an hour and the first thing he picks up are puns

NaughtyScot  
13:17 @WaySmarterThanU Can’t fault the lad for being equipped with a wraith of wit

FlyBoy  
13:21 @WaySmarterThanU It’s a Writhicism

WaySmarterThanU  
13:25 I am in hell. A shiny, floating hell. No scientific advancement is worth this

HotToddy  
13:29 @WaySmarterThanU That is what she said!

WaySmarterThanU  
13:33 ::headdesks self into coma::

FlyBoy  
13:34 @HotToddy and @NaughtyScot ::high fives::

\-----

_A/N - Yeah, so about the authors prerogative; I doubt Todd would know what 'WTF' means well enough to use it, but I just wasn't willing to sacrifice it and pass up that first line. Also, I know the puns are horrible. That is kind of the point._


End file.
